What Are You Talking About?

Do you have everything that you desire?

How much of your internal monologue do you spend focusing on what you really desire in your life?

Take a moment now to think about sitting on the beach in perfect weather. Maybe you’re reading a book or maybe you’re playing frisbee with your friends.

Now, don’t think about a pink elephant. Whatever you do, don’t think about a pink elephant. Stop thinking about that pink elephant. I said “Don”t think about a pink elephant!!!”

You’re probably wondering if I’ve lost my sanity–writing about pink elephants.

No, I’m proving a point, here. People often tell me that I’m wrong about the pitfalls of continually using the word “NOT” in our conversation. They tell me that of course they can mentally process sentences with the word “NOT” and do as they’re told–“NOT to do something”.

When I said to think about the beach, you probably thought about the beach. Perfectly normal! The tricky part about the mind is that you had to think about the pink elephant, too–even though I said NOT to think about it. In this case, the word “NOT” was completely useless. You still thought about the pink elephant. You might even have seen the pink elephant on the beach!

So, when you join the majority of people and continue to talk about what you don’t want and how you don’t have time and “not this” and “not that”, you spend your time thinking about the opposite of what you desire.

How can you possibly get what you desire when you spend your time looking at and talking about what you “DON’T” want?! How many times do you think or say something similar to one of these gems?

  • “Don’t spill that drink!”
  • “I can’t wait to get out of here.”
  • “Don’t hesitate to go for it.”
  • “One of my goals this year is to not criticize my wife.”

Image of KnotYou hear the word “not” and its variations (can’t, don’t, won’t, etc.) so often, that you are probably deaf to it. Your mind certainly ignores the word–simply think back to the pink elephant trick above when you ignored “not” and did it anyway.

Spending your time thinking about what you desire so that you can get it is a necessary skill. Sailing presents a perfect example of this. If the captain spent her time looking at where she “didn’t want to go”, that’s exactly where her boat would go. In order to end up where she wants to go, she needs to spend her time looking at her destination.

Here are some ways to shift your words and speak what you prefer.

  • “Carry that drink carefully.”
  • “I am looking forward to going out to dinner with my friends!”
  • “Make sure and go after what you want.”
  • “One of my goals this year is to appreciate the things that my wife does well.”

When you shift your conversations and inner thoughts to what you really desire, you stay focused on creating more good things that lead you to what you would like to have. Some of you might realize that you need to spend some time figuring out what you prefer. So much of your time may have been spent on what you “don’t want”, that you still need to sort out what you DO want.

I ask again, do you have everything you desire?

Coach’s Challenge:

How much of your internal monologue do you spend focusing on what you really desire in your life?

Start noticing the conversations you have with yourself and others. Listen for when you use the word “not”. Then, stop and see if you can reword your thoughts to speak what you want instead of what you “don’t want”.

If you find that you still need a better idea of what you desire, contact me to work on consciously choosing and designing your awesome life.

Suggested Resources:

Check out my Amazon Store for Brian Tracy’s book “Focal Point“–a step-by-step process of goal setting.