Is Your Heart Really In It?


When we wonder about someone’s commitment to something, we might ask them “Is your heart really in it?”.

When you are struggling, the same question comes to mind “Is your heart really in it?”.

The question of whether your heart is in it is multi-dimensional. For one, what’s your commitment? Then, what kind of energy is your heart filled with? Lastly, are you and your relationships filled with your heart energy?

Is your heart really in it? How committed are you to being successful? The required commitment is more than the number of hours you spend working to be successful. It is also about how committed you are to thinking and believing that you ARE successful. Are you thinking about what might happen to you if the worst happens? Are you wondering how to reduce expenses so that you can make it through the year? The gremlin of doubt and questioning is a sign of a less-than completely committed mind and heart. Instead, commit your thoughts only to visions and ideas that match your ideal life vision. Discipline your thoughts so that they stay focused there. Whenever the gremlin creeps in (and certainly it occasionally does), thank it for intending to keep you safe, and then turn your head away and look at something inspiring and repeat a mantra of success. Every moment you spend thinking about what frustrates you holds you back in that situation. In order to have a different situation in your future, you need to focus on what you can do to create the situation you want.

HeartWhat kind of energy is your heart filled with? Do you spend more time frustrated and complaining or happy and at peace? Any time spent complaining or being frustrated about something fills your heart and mind with a destructive energy–an energy that is actually toxic and unpleasant to be around. Much research has been done to demonstrate effects of mood on our biology. (“Molecules of Emotion” by Candace Pert, for example.) It is harmful to our bodies, our minds and our relationships. By focusing more on what IS working, we train our mind to stay focused on thoughts and actions that result in a healthy biology and healthy relationships. Just like with the gremlin of doubt, it takes practice to shift our focus. When you practice the following qualities of mind and heart, you become more like them: kindness, perseverance, compassion, wisdom, and faith.

“Whatever we practice we will become.” Jack Kornfield

Do you continually fill your life and your relationships with your heart energy? Is your life pulsing with your heart energy? Without it, your life may be emptier than you’d like. When you want more, fill yourself with a loving heart energy. That’s why I spoke before about cultivating loving heart energy. Only when you’ve cultivated a loving heart energy, is it effective to fill your life with it. A loving heart energy is easier to create when you have the inner strength and confidence to stay in a loving place despite whatever might be happening around you. It’s much easier to be loving when all is going well. Staying in a loving place when the world around you seems to be against you takes more practice and discipline. Make sure you have a strong inner self when you open your heart to be loving. Without the inner strength of self, the space of loving might actually turn into giving UP self instead of giving OF self. Make sure you give OF your self by cultivating the inner self, first.

When your heart is truly in it, you create a life that reflects your inner self and your commitment to your ideal life vision. Then, it can begin to attract the life that you really desire.

Coach’s Challenge:

Take some time this week to quietly determine if your heart is really in whatever you do. Take a step back and become the observer to your daily life and the way that you interact with your friends, colleagues and family. Do your interactions look like ones that come from a loving heart? How often do you slip and get caught reacting to the stresses of your day and the daily challenges?

Pick one situation or relationship that is most challenging. From the place of the observer, think about just ONE thing that you could do or say differently that is more loving. Then, write yourself reminders that trigger you to do that ONE thing differently. I’d love to hear your stories of how you changed something and what changed in your life.

Suggested Resource:

One of the books I have found useful in staying in a loving heart energy is “A Path With Heart” by Jack Kornfield. Find it in my Amazon store.