With Halloween just behind us, we head into a season full of many different holidays. Whether you choose the upcoming Muharram, Chanukah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice or just a big bash on New Year’s Eve, celebration of some kind is in the air. Believe it or not, yesterday, I started playing Christmas music in my office during the day! I just love how good and happy I feel when I listen to it… I delete the depressing songs from my playlist, though…
There’s one thing that I wish we could celebrate in even grander and lovelier ways. Can you guess what I mean?
Recently, I saw someone writing about how modesty is rarely required in life and that we would benefit from honoring and celebrating ourselves. It reminded me that we still have such a long way to go before we get in the habit of celebrating ourselves as the unique, lovely and astonishing beings we really are.
I could say that it’s sad to see how rarely someone speaks well of themselves. Instead, though, I prefer to focus on the awesome–how awesome it is when someone deeply gets how lovely they are and celebrates that! That type of self-celebration is what I love to see!
I know that often people squirm when others are confident. The reason they’re squirming is because they are pretty sure that the other person is better than they themselves are. It’s the hidden, little secret that many humans share–a niggling doubt about our worth. This little gremlin of self-doubt, that we continue to feed, sabotages SO many things in our lives. Instead, let’s feed the confident self so that it grows quickly and easily.
Even our language discourages us from self-celebration in case someone may think us arrogant. Have you heard any of these?
- Don’t go tooting your own horn
- He’s so full of himself
- Who does she think she is
- He’s gotten too big for his britches
- She’s so high and mighty
- I’d like to take him down a notch
When we deeply understand and feel our worth, we simply live in confidence. Confidence and arrogance are very separate states of being. When we are confident, we no longer talk about how much more we know than so-and-so or how great we are or how bad/incompetent/irresponsible/etc. someone else is. Instead, we hardly talk about our worth, because it simply is. Arrogance does talk about all those things I just mentioned and more. While it may appear that an arrogant person is overly-confident, that is only how it appears on the surface. Inside of the arrogant person is someone who so desperately needs to feel valuable that they go to great lengths to make themselves appear better than others. Arrogance comes from a deep lack of confidence.
The next time you think someone’s being arrogant, stop and take inventory. Are they really being arrogant–claiming they are better than someone else? Or are they simply being confident in themselves? After an honest evaluation, you believe that they are being arrogant, then take a moment to send them a blessing or some light, because they really need it. If, instead, you must admit that they are simply being confident, then send yourself a blessing or some light, because you really need it.
You might be wondering what I mean by self-celebration. While it might be an all-out party event, it is also the inner celebration that is vital. For it must be deep inside us that we know our value. Here are some ideas for your own personal celebration:
- Send yourself a lovely card that lists a few of your lovely and positive attributes – kind of a love letter to yourself
- Meditate on your heart and focus on one lovely thing about yourself, then pick another, doing this one after the other
- Make yourself a cuppa something, sit down with a notepad and pen, and begin writing a list of the things you like about yourself (keep the notepad handy and add to the list whenever you notice something else)
- Pick 1 or 2 friends and have a celebration where the only things that you are allowed to talk about is lovely things about yourself (and you get to share lovely things about one of the others present in case they get stuck or “can’t think of anything”); and remember that this is about celebrating yourself first, so stay focused on yourself
I’m sure that you can think of a few more celebration ideas to add to the list.
Oh, and here’s how I’d rewrite the phrases I mentioned near the beginning:
- Happily toot your own horn so others can agree with you
- Be full of love for yourself
- I see how much she loves herself
- I hope his britches catch up to his mature and loving self
- May she realize how mighty she truly is
- I’d love to take him up a notch
Give them a whirl the next time you feel that someone needs a little confidence boost!
Today, find one way to celebrate yourself. Use one of the ideas above or create a new ritual for yourself. Then, share this article with someone that you think could benefit from a celebration of self.
This book is one I highly recommend on increasing your own confidence, by Robert Anthony. I’ve included a link to my Amazon store for your convenience.
The Ultimate Secrets of Total Self-Confidence (Revised) by Robert Anthony